10.06.2009

High Plains Drifter

Well, I'm grounded. It's interesting. It takes me back to my childhood, because the "stern" punishment that is stricken down on me reminds me of the innocence that it usually coincides with it. Like being sent to time out. Or being sent to my room. After a certain point, punishment ceases to actually punish you, and instead fuels rebellion. Punishment is to program your brain that a certain action causes a certain negative effect. Like the experiment where one door knob is electrified. After a certain point, punishment is pointless. If someone's morals aren't up to the standards of parents now, making them stay in a room for a week isn't going to change that. It's going to inflame it.

Not to say that I'm mad. I probably deserve it. Having people over and letting them drink all of my parents' alcohol probably wasn't the smartest idea. I'm okay with the fact that my parents think they have an inherent need to correct my misstep. Whatever. It's more so that they can feel that they're doing a good job as guardians than it is to teach me a lesson, but I understand that completely.

I'm getting off topic.

Innocence. That's what I'm reminded of. What is it? Is it ignorance or wisdom? It feels like every step away from it is one step closer to the end, and one farther from the beginning. It's a mixed feeling. My life is episodic depending on moods and impulse. I can be quixotic one day, and introverted the next. I'm always going after innocence, in one way or another, though. It's subconscious most of the time.  Apparently there's a pattern. It goes innocence, then sin and experiences, then higher innocence. I think that concept is interesting. I guess it means that we have to spend our lives trying to figure out what makes us happy before we finally get to some final truth. If only it could all tie up that nicely.

What am I going to do for the next week of imprisonment? Probably let the computer and TV numb my sense of time. Zone out every day. Become really apathetic. I don't know what good will actually come of it.

 I need a project that will be productive. Maybe try to make some non-pretentious blog posts for once? Nah, being pretentious is too much fun.

7 comments:

  1. Quixotic. Really?
    Good read though.

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  2. haha thanks. and I have no idea where that word came from...

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  3. Quixotic comes from author Don Quixote.

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  4. Quixotic is a real word Nick. Read a dictionary.

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  5. Patrick - I know it's a real word. I was just pointing out that the word came about because of him.

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  6. Nick- well excuuuuuuuuuuse me... excuse me.

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  7. Patrick - no reason to take offense.

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