I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I usually just like writing about my opinions but lately I've been taking my thoughts and putting them in the form of a story. I'm sorry if this is too pretentious for you, but I really thought it out so I thought I'd share. Comment and tell me if I should trash it.
The Savage Decision
Beneath and among the scratchy branches and lacerative blades of leaves lay a man who was content with laying there. He was hardly a man, more of a primate who needed no esteem nor belonging nor any other necessity of societal existence. As he awoke, he stood awkwardly and ran towards the nearest pond and drank some murky water and sat down and looked ahead. The thoughts in his head weren't the thoughts that could be translated into any kind of communicative noises, but instead were the thoughts of an orangutan or dog. How will he eat, what will today entail, how will he survive until he lays again amongst the trees. His purpose was not purposeful. It was the purpose of someone not shadowed by the darkness of a need for purpose. His purpose was to live as long as possible before he naturally aided the food chain of the other equal animals. He was content with this, but, then, he was content with everything. Everything was natural, everything had a purpose in itself and it's purpose was to survive. The ants, trees, clouds, air, rain, it all just survived.
So the routine came and came again, and he was content. It didn't wear him, because there was no alternative to survival. Everyday meant something in that it was another victory of life. He didn't know any others like him, he was the lone man in a wooded place inhabited by food and predators, not friends or enemies, just other survivors. He was content without having companions. He didn't know how he came into existence, nor did the question ever cross his mind. If the question did come into his thoughts, he probably wouldn't care. He was content with survival, content with the dirt, content with his natural place in this savage society. Savage in its activities, but civil in its reasoning. Murders become necessary predatory captures when the murder can't be avoided. He wasn't happy because emotions were useless. He wasn't a drone, though. He was alive, at least for the day that he thought.
One day he woke up to a piercing scream in his brain and looked down and saw that his three biggest toes were being ripped off. He knew he was finished. He had survived and won for a long time, but this is when he would finally be the fertilizer and food for the scavengers. The man was content with this. The beast made his way up towards his heart and ripped it out violently, and the man saw it and smiled. The second he died his soul rose out of his body. He looked down at the scene in confusion.
Nevertheless, his eternal and sacred soul continued to rise, and his thoughts became more concrete and more understandable to him. He glided past the clouds and the stars and the moon and the rain and the other things he never took for granted, until he screeched and stopped.
Above and beyond the world and its people stood a man who was not content with standing. He looked around, for the first time in his life looking at something he had never seen before. An industrial gate on top of a cloud not full of rain. Other people, with glowing faces and smiles walking forward. One man on a pedestal standing before the pearly metal gate. Stand before me and kneel and let me check your sins, He barked. The man understood him in his glorified state and obliged. The man on the pedestal began again:
Murder after murder after murder. Masturbation, raping the earth, and bestiality of all things! Despicable! You are not worthy to enter the kingdom of Yahweh! How could you be so inhuman? The Lord Almighty has died for your sins and this is how you pay your dues?
Then again. You are an uneducated man. A poor, desolate soul not deserving of such harsh judgement. How will you defend yourself? What have you to say to gain entrance into Eden?
The savage man stood up. He stared at this man for a long second. He frowned and stared at the ground and began to speak for the first time.
I am not ashamed of what I have done. I was content. At peace with myself and my surroundings. I don't need to prove my worth by receiving the reward of this place. What is it's purpose? To have eternal life? Selfishness! I was content with the dirt and the trees and the harmony of my home. It was a home. A Godless, beautiful home. And I wish that I could stay there, dead body and dead soul forever. This place is useless to me.
The judge became enraged and curious. He looked the savage beast up and down several times before banging his gavel and saying.
Then you are not sorry for the crimes you have committed? Heresy! You are a goat if I have ever seen one! The ultimate paradise is no place for a beast like you. God accepts you with open arms and you deny him! That is the quintessential factor of sin, don't you see? Jesus Christ might have passion, but I know where men like you belong. Gehenna! For eternity!
The man continued staring at his feet. He fell into a lake of fire that burned his toes and heart. He stared up towards his home. And wished. Wished that he could just be dead, because he was no longer content. He could never be content again.