What's the most universal characteristic-- fear or laziness?

I had a terrible day today.  I'm still half-sick, but I don't think that's the only reason.  I had a realization-or maybe a reminder- that every day is the same.  It's so easy to drone, or "be an ant" as one of the videos I'm going to post puts it.  I get up, get dressed, drink a cup of coffee, get to school, and zone out.  Chemistry, Algebra, History, Music Survey, American English history, it's all so left-brain, so dead.  I couldn't care less about any of it.  I always look forward to the last class of the day, though, my Themes of Literature class.  It's the only class that's alive, where kids are actually interested, and where the teacher doesn't just stare at a book and lecture.

It's the only class that I leave with a headache, in a good way.  Like my brain is throbbing with new information.  I never really learn anything, but I think.  Today, I thought.

There's a certain guy in my class- let's call him Heath- that thinks he has the answers.  The answers to everything (I'm sure he'd deny this if I asked him, though).  He's extremely and rigidly Catholic, to the point of annoyance.  Good for him, whatever, but it's so trite, so boring to answer every question with "faith in God, it's in the bible, it's in the Catechism, look at the Church teachings, ask a priest".  I don't want to know everything.  How depressing is the thought that we already have all of the answers? What's the point of living?  I'd much rather think that there are things to explore.  That I have something to learn.  That I can form how I want to believe, and go off of the beaten path without 'sinning' or having to go ask forgiveness for being fucking curious.  I'm tired of it.  I'm Catholic, sure, but not to the point that I think it's the tried and true religion.  There might be something else out there, and I'm open to it.  To not be is a complete waste of a mind.

So I go home annoyed and bored.  I feel terrible, so I turn on the TV and find a movie on that I haven't seen in a couple years called Waking Life. It's a movie that's a dream, full of conversations of different people (or, I guess, parts of one person) inside of it.  I love this movie.  It's pretentious, full of itself, and knows that it doesn't have any answers.  Just thoughts.  And that's what I want.  It's definitely awake, and in an hour and a half of watching it I undid all of the frustration that came out of listening to people like Heath.

Knowing nothing is thrilling.

I'll post a few of my favorite scenes, but I definitely don't know everything that goes on in this movie.  It's confusing, surrealistic, and obscure.  Isn't this a little more interesting than Transformers, though?

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